None of them
Intro from Brad:
And now the grand old opera theater proudly presents
a special holiday edition of the Adventures of the Kung Pao Buckaroos
E A
Well, its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
B E
Whatever you do watch what you say
A B C#m
If youre easily offended well thats okay
A
Its a completely non-offensive and
B E
politically correct holiday
E
We catch up with our three cowboys one cold
December night huddled around the camp fire.
E
How bout we sing some holiday songs?
Yeah, hey George, you wanna lead us off?
Yeah, I got one.
E E
B E
how lovely are thou branches
E
Why am I getting bleeped again?
you gotta say Holiday
No you might offend somebody.
and the atheists.
What?
Time to politically correct.
Ill lead this off.
E B E
E
Jimmy, are you listening?
What?
Why not?
I didnt make the rules.
Hey listen guys, its not that difficult,
Why did I get bleeped?
Youve got to say Caucasian.
So I have to sing, Im dreaming of a Caucasian holiday?
Sure, that wont offend anybody.
E A
Well, its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
B E
Whatever you do watch what you say
A B C#m
If youre easily offended well thats okay
Why do these people have to feel that way?
How come they get offended so easily?
A
Its a completely non-offensive and
B E
politically correct holiday
E
Im just trying to come up with a song here.
Lets sing one together, everybody ready? George?
Ready.
Bill your ready?
Im ready.
Jimmy? Jimmy? Jimmy?
Okay!
E B7 E
E B7 E
bearing gifts weve traveled real far.
E
Sorry boys, you have to say Asia now.
What?
Oh, come on just try.
Ive got to get hyped up for this.
E
We three kings of Asia are.
E
Oh lord, okay. How bout Little Drummer boy?
Nope, that offends short people.
And you cant say drummer cause
that will offend real musicians.
How bout little hahaha- town of Bethlehem.
Whats this with all the short jokes?
Hey how bout we do Silent Night?
No, itll offend people whos hard to hear
and afraid of the dark.
What did he say about a shark?
SHARK?!!
This happens every year.
E A
Well, its a Kung Pao Buckaroo Holiday
B E
Whatever you do watch what you say
A B C#m
If youre easily offended well thats okay
A
Its a completely non-offensive and
B E
politically correct holiday
E
Hohoho!
No.
I cant say ho?
No you might offend some women.
So basically we cant sing anything?
Softer George, its more effective.
Wait just a dang minute,
You now what? I dont care who we offend,
Louder Bill, its more effective.
I dont care who we offend,
Me too.
E A
F# B
G# C#m
F# A E
E
We cant say new; itll offend the old folks.
And you better not offend themus!
Yah!!
have a merry Christmas!
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