None of them
Verse 1
Am C F
The old man next door says his house is haunted
E Am
He says a ghost keeps him awake
C F
I think he's having a hard time, to be honest
E Am
Since his darling passed away
C
But he fears that a phantom
F E Am
Has finally found him... some nemesis that never quit holding a grudge
C F
The old man next door says his house is haunted
E
It's best to be upfront with some tough love
Chorus
F C
I said Robert I'm so sorry
G
Your house ain't haunted
Am G F
You're just not used to bein' alone
C G
Robert all the creaks and shifts are just the sounds you missed
Am G F
When you shared your home
E
He says: no, no, no, no no no…
Verse 2
Am C F
I've had some close calls with falling items
E Am
I'm duckin' picture frames and dinner plates and all
C F
All my daily meds: I can never find 'em
E Am
They're put in places that I never would've done
C F
And the furniture shifts and it caused me to trip
E Am
I wake up with my pillow on my face every night
C
It sounds silly but this house is tryin' to kill me
F
Will you come see? Just stay with me?
E
Just stay with me one time?
Chorus
F C
I said Robert I'm so sorry
G
Your house ain't haunted
Am G F
You're just not used to bein' alone
C G
Robert all the shifts and creaks are just the signs of grief
Am G F
Now you're living on your own...
E
But okay, I'll go…
Bridge
Am
And I can't help but feel absurd because nothing
G
That I've heard from the downstairs room
Am E
Is of paranormal origin, it's 4 am, this poor old man is just confused
F
But wait
Am
I hear footsteps... on the stairs...
E
They're gettin' louder and louder... Above me... They're stomping
F E
I pray it's just Robert until I hear him scream my name (NEIGHBOR GUY!)
Am
And I go running up the stairs, jumping three at a time
C
And I'm fully unprepared for the terrors I will find
F
I burst into the room and by the light of the moon
E E7
It's a ghost as real as both me and you
Am
And it wasn't the butler that he sacked without cause
C
Or that surly groundskeeper or that mafia boss
F
Or his old business partner that he stabbed in the back
E
Or the ghost of Christmas Future, Present or Past
Am
And it wasn't the guy from the mishap at the zoo
C
Or that other guy from the other mishap at the zoo
F
No, of all the spooky specters Robert wronged in his life
E
The ghost floating between us was his darling dead wife
Chorus
And she said
F C
Robert, I'm so sorry
G
Didn't mean to scare you
Am G F
I'm just not used to bein' alone
C G
Robert, ya see, death's a one-way street
Am G F
And I can't find my way back home
C G
Robert, I figured I'd just come getcha
Am G F
I thought a haunting might do the trick
C G
Robert, I'm sorry, I thought it'd be easier
Am G F E
I don't remember you bein' this quick…
Outro
Am C F
The old house next door's got a sign out front now
E Am
A for sale sign tied to a post
C F
So, attention shoppers, you can make an offer
E Am
On a 2 bed, 2 bath and a Ghost
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