None of them
Dm
Step right up
Bb
We bring to you the finest entertainment
A7
And I am pleased to be your humble servant
Dm A7
Accept our hospitality, indulge in abnormality
Dm
Step right up
Bb
We've something here for everyone's enjoyment
A7
I do this as a gift, not for employment
Dm A7
A portrait of insanity, approached with pure humanity
D A
Come see our girls, crazy girls
D/F# D7 A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
Em B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D A7 D7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
D A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
D/F# D7 A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
Em A7 D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
Em A7 D
Come see the girls, girls, girls
D E7
Some of them are really quite attractive as you see
A7 D
Some are truly hideous, I'm sure that you'll agree
Em A7 D
While others still look rather quite a lot like you and me
E A7
But you mustn't let them fool you, just one more rule
D E7
You shouldn't look this one too long in the eye
A7 D
And that one, let's just keep walking by
Em A7 D
These ain't no ordinary girls, and we've a steady supply
Em A7 D
Grab another cup of tea, and follow me
D A
To see our girls, crazy girls
D/F# D7 A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
Em B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D A7 D7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
D A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
D/F# D7 A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
Em A7 D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
Em A7 D
Come see the girls, girls, girls
D E7
Now, has anybody any clever questions for your guide
E A7 D7
For a penny more, go on and ask, we have nothing here to hide.
Quiet down! You, sir?
D E7
If insanity's primarily a femininish malady,
A7 D
And no one's doubting that for it's a scientific fact,
Em A7 D
Then according to the medics, are they faultier genetics?
E A7
Are they born with this disease, or is it something they contract?
D E7
It’s all to do with reproductive organs
A7 D
Which are naturally unstable in a dame
Em A7 D
You see, from lunar we have lunacy and lunatic and loony
E A7
And they're always ovulating by the cycle of the moony
D
I have a question (shoot!)
E7
Has any patient ever been released
A7 D
Would you send her home if her bizarre behavior would decrease?
Em A7 D
For the good of our society, they oughtn't reproduce
E A7
So while they may pretend propriety, we'll never let them loose
D A
Come see the girls, crazy girls
D/F# D7 A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
Em B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D A7 D7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
D A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
D/F# D7 A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
Em A7 D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
Em A7 D
Come see the girls, girls, girls
Some are born mad
Some achieve madness
Some have madness thrust upon them
This is the real thing my friends, 100 percent, authentic, mentally-ill
Except no imitations
For a little extra on the side, you can arrange
For a slightly more intimate encounter, wink wink
For a tuppence, just a tuppence, a handful of pills to feed the inmates
We've got pills for depression, obsession, agression, possession, indiscretion,
But there's a bloody pill for everything nowadays
A
How big is a lady's brain?
Em E7 D7
It's really very, very small, a simple thought is quite a strain
Em
This seems just a bit inhumane
E E7 D7
It's just a simple little shock, it doesn't cause her any pain
D E7
They're really more like animals than people
A7 D
Which, as we've proven, haven't any souls at all.
Em A7 D
The only bits that aren't inferior are bosom and posterior
E A7
And these are only useful in a seedy music hall
D E7
They don't bite, well they might
A7 D
I say this one does look hungry tonight
Em A7
So get your picture with an inmate
D
But be sure she's locked up tight
E
They're practically wild sir
A7
Protect your child sir
D E7
They don't recall the taste of freedom
A7 D
They're just happy if we feed them
Em A7
So point and laugh, it isn't bad
D
They oughtn't mind because they're mad!
E A7
If you haven't got a dime, toss us your pearls
You're welcome to enjoy
D A
Our girls, crazy girls
D/F# D7 A
If you're willing to be thrilled, this is a hell of a ride
Em B5
Those girls, crazy girls
D A7 D7
They're hot, they're nuts, they're suicidal
D A
Tickets cheap, it's a crime
D/F# D7 A
And they're half price after 4 o' clock, so toss us a dime
Em A7 D
To see these lovely freaks of nature for a limited time
Em A7 D
Come see the girls, girls, girls
Em A7 D
I've got a lot more words to say, but I just can't make them rhyme
Em A7 D
So ladies, let this be a lesson to you, keep your hair uncut
Em A7
Your corsets tight, your morals high
D
Your knitting neat, your yappers shut
Em A7
This is what comes of over-educating,
D Em
mentally over-stimulating,
A7
too much serious conversating,
D Em
organized religion-hating,
A7
sinful over-copulating,
D Em
marriage without procreating,
A7
girl-on-girl caught lesbiating,
D Em
she was caught while masturbating,
A7
they all mind manipulating,
D Em
chronically hallucinating,
A7
certainly there's no debating,
D Em
some we just find fascinating,
A7
women's rights facilitating,
D Em
independent thought creating,
A7
she just may be complicating,
D D7
get your money out, we're waiting
To see those
Em
Girls!
A7
Girls!
D
Girls!
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