Mick The Master Farter keyboard

Mick The Master Farter

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Band - Kevin Bloody Wilson
Album - Kevs Back(Return of the Yobbo)
Song - Mick The Master Farter
Tabbed by - Taylor Wasielewski(Singer/ Guitarist of Cantopulous)

E A B7 A E

I first Emet him in the classroom back in A1963
And B7we seemed to hit it off pretty good, we were Amates, Mick and Eme
He Ewasn't such a big kid, even Aback then at the start
And he B7wasn't all that clever either, but Jesus he could Efart

I first Efound that out in class one day, when Athings were going pretty slow
And B7just to keep us all amused, Mick let this Afucking ripper Ego
Well, you Eshould’ve been there, look, I'd Adescribe it if I could
But B7I just turned around, and I said, "Hey Mick you’re fucking Egood"

And at the Eend of school Grand Final on the Arugby field that time
B7We were getting beaten, they were A12 and we were E9
And play was E3 yards from our goal-line, when the Areferee called a scrum
And B7Mick said, "Don't worry fellas, we've as good as got it Ewon"

So we just Elocked ourselves down in the scrum, and we Aheld each other’s nose
And B7Mick our little hooker, he let this Afucking ripper Ego
Well, it Estung their nose, and it burnt their eyes, and it Aeven scorched the grass
And I B7twigged right then and there, he had a double jointed Earse

Chorus:
AMick, me mate the master Efarter
Put the art back into farting, with his custom tailored B7farts
AMick, me mate the master Efarter
Broke new ground in breaking wind, with his B7double jointed Earse A B7 A E

And it was Ejust a couple of years later, we both Awent to see Kamaahl
It was a B7really poshy sort of show, in this Agreat big bloody Ehall
And all the Eblokes were dressed like penguins, and you Ashould have seen the sorts
And B7Kamaahl himself wore a sheilas dress, like a bloody black Boy EGeorge

And we were all Elocked in there like sardines, for the Ashow to get underway
But the B7tuba player didn't lob, he'd Abooked off crook that Eday
And Kamaahl said, E"Without a tuba player, I Acannot commence the show"
So old B7Mick jumps up said, "Sambo mate, I'll have a fucking Ego"

Well, from Ethen on in I honestly thought, that the Awhole show would be ruined
But he just B7winked at me and picked that tuba up, just like he Aknew what he was Edoing
Then the Emaestro tapped his little stick to Atell the band to start
And B7Mick just shut his eyes and cocked his leg, and then began to Efart

Well you Ecould have heard a pin drop, that Anight there in the hall
And it's B7hard to say who sounded best, Mick Afarting or KaEmaahl
Then the Eaudience just went apeshit, they Acheered and clapped and stood
And B7Kamaahl smiled as if to say, "Hey Mick, you’re fucking Egood

Chorus:
AMick me mate the master Efarter
Put the art back into farting, with his custom tailored B7farts
AMick me mate the master Efarter
With his true-pitch perfect, calibrated, B7double jointed Earse A B7 A E

Well, Egood news travels fast it seems and it Awasn't very long
Before B7Mick got this midnight phonecall from Ben ALexan and Alan EBond
They said, E"Mick we've got this specialist job, and Awe're prepared to pay ya
B7Mick old son would you consider farting for AustEralia"

We'll just Eprop you on our brand new yacht, when Athere’s no sea-breeze blowing
And get B7Mick the master farter to start her and Akeep the bastard Egoing
So EMick went into training on Asausage rolls and pies
And B7Vegemite and Fosters beer and a scholarship from EHeinz

The Eworld had never seen before a Ayacht so finely groomed
Or a B7crew so fit and young and strong, or an Aarse so finely Etuned
The EYanks weren't even in the race, not Aeven in the same class
What with B7Ben Lexan and his secret keel and Micks fuel injected Earse

Well he Ecome back a bloody hero didn't he, the Aall Australian boy
And B7government commissioned this bloke to do a big Astatue of his Ekoy
And EI can still see Mick standing there when Athey confirmed his Knighthood
And B7BobNC Hawke pinning it on saying, "Hey Mick, you’re fucking Egood"

Chorus:
AMick me mate the master Efarter
Put the class back into farting, with his designer-label B7farts
AMick me mate the master Efarter
B7Wth his true-pitch perfect, calibrated, turbo thrusted, fuel injected, W.I.N.G.S. protected,
B7double jointed Earse A B7 A E

x

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