The Vasectomy Song ukulele

The Vasectomy Song

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#This file is the author's own work and represents their interpretation of the #
#song. You may only use this file for private study, scholarship, or research. #

Date: Sat, 29 Nov 1997 14:06:32 -0600
From: "Michael K. Moseley" 
Subject: Subject: PRO: The_Vasectomy_Song.crdpro by Larry Heagle

The Vasectomy Song                         by: Larry Heagle

Also performed by One-Man Johnson in Iowa City

Tabbed by: Mike Moseley ([email protected])

I heard this song on public radio about 15 years ago and have been
playing it for my friends ever since (taking time out for work, food,
sleep and personal time, of course).  For those of you not
knowledgeable,
the Vas Deferens is what gets clipped in a 'Vas'ectomy.

=========================================================================

CWell, I went to see my doctor,
I said, "Doc, I can't pay my billsG
The rent's all spent and my truck's got a dent
And I think I'm a-gettin' the Cchills
>From bein' forced to sleep alone, oh, this house just ain't a Fhome
We can't Gafford no more kids
My life in on the skids
Cause my woman says, 'Leave me alCone'


Unless I get a vaGsectomy, I gotta get a vaCsectomy
Just Gone little male alteration,
can Csave no chord us from an other altercation
It's a Gvasectomy, I gotta get a vaCsectomy
Oh what a Fvas deferGens it could Cbe."


CWell, the next thing I knew I was layin' on the table
With the lights shinin' in my eyesG
They strapped my wrists and they strapped my ankles
And they double strapped my Cthighs
The nurses were gigglin' and I was wigglin' most uncomfortFably
When the Gdoctor walked in with a perverted grin
And here's what he said to Cme,
"It only hurts for a little whileC
That's what they Amtell me that's what they say, eh heh heh"


CWell it's two weeks later and I feel a little better
And my mind is more at easeG
The rent's still spent, my truck's still got a dent
But my woman's no longer a Ctease
And even down at the office, there's a lot more interest in Fme
Oh, the Ggirls all grin when I walk in
And brother they mean to Cplease


A man with a vaGsectomy, you oughta' get a vaCsectomy
Well, like a GSunkist orange, I've been freed
Cause Cit's no chord all juice and there's no seed
With a Gvasectomy, you oughta' get a vaCsectomy
Oh, what a Fvas deferGens it could . . . .no chord
Now here is the part that I like the most
It takes the danger out of bein' close
Want a Fvas deferGens it could . . . . no chord
The snipped those little suckers right in two
And then they clamped 'em off with Super Glue
What A Fvas deferGens it could Cbe.   G    C G C

=========================================================================

Best regards to Larry Heagle and One-Man Johnson.

I hope this brings a smile or at least a wince.

x

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