None of them
F C
I have an apology to make,
Dm
I'm afraid I've made a big mistake,
Cadd4 C
I turned my face away from You, Lord.
F C
I was too blind to see the light,
Dm
I was too weak to feel your might,
Cadd4 C
I closed my eyes, I couldn't see the truth, Lord.
E Am
But then like Saul on the Damascus road,
E Am
You sent a messenger to me, and so,
F
I have had the truth revealed to me,
Em
Please forgive me all those things I said,
F
I'll no longer betray you, Lord,
G
I will pray to you instead.
Bb F C
And I will say thank you, thank you, thank you God.
Bb F C
Thank you, thank you, thank you God.
C G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I had no idea but it's suddenly so clear,
C C7
Now I feel such a cynic how could I have been so dumb?
F
Thank you for displaying how praying works,
C
A particular prayer in a particular church,
D G
Thank you Sam, for the chance to acknowledge this omnipotent ophthalmologist.
C G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I didn't realise that it was so simple,
C C7
But you've shown a great example of just how it can be done,
F
You only need to pray in a particular spot,
C
To a particular version of a particular god,
D
And if you pull that off without a hitch,
G
He will fix one eye of one middle-class white bitch.
Am Fdim7
I know in the past my outlook has been limited,
Am Fdim7
I couldn't see examples of where life had been divinitive,
F C
But I can admit it when the evidence is clear,
D G
As clear as Sam's mum's new cornea.
That's extremely clear!
Extremely clear!
C G
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I have to admit that in the past I have been skeptical,
C C7
But Sam described this miracle and I am overcome.
F
How fitting that the sighting of a sight-based intervention,
C
Should open my eyes to this exciting new dimension.
D
It's like someone put an eye chart on the wall in front of me,
G
And the top five letters say I-C-G-O-D.
C G
Thank you Sam, for showing how my point of view has been so flawed.
I assumed there was no God at all but now I see that's cynical,
C C7
It's simply that His interests aren't particularly broad.
F
He's largely undiverted by the starving masses,
C
Or the inequality between the various classes.
D
He gives out strictly limited passes,
G
Redeemable for surgery or two-for-one glasses.
Am Fdim7
I feel so shocking for historically mocking.
Am Fdim7
No, your interests are clearly confined to the ocular.
F C
I bet given the chance you'd eschew the divine,
D G
And start a little business selling contacts online.
C G
Fuck me Sam, what are the odds that of history's endless parade of gods,
C
C7
That the god that you just happen to be taught to believe in is the actual one and he
digs on healing,
F C
But not the AIDS-ridden African nations, or the victims of the plague, or the
flood-addled Asians,
D G
But healthy, privately-insured Australians, with common and curable corneal degeneration?
Am Fdim7
This story of Sam's has but a single explanation:
Am Fdim7
A surgical god who digs on magic operations.
Am Fdim7
No it couldn't be mistaken attribution of causation,
Am Fdim7
Born of a coincidental temporal correlation,
Am Fdim7
Exacerbated by a general lack of education,
Am Fdim7
Vis-a-vis physics in Sam's parish congregation.
F C
And it couldn't be that all these pious people are liars.
F C
It couldn't be an artifact of confirmation bias.
F
A product of group-think,
Cdim7
A mass delusion,
G Fdim7
An Emperor's-New-Clothes-style fear of exclusion.
Am Fdim7
No it's more likely to be an all-powerful magician,
Am Fdim7
Than the misdiagnosis of the initial condition,
Am Fdim7
Or one of many cases of spontaneous remission,
Am Fdim7
Or a record-keeping glitch by the local physician.
F C
No, the only explanation for Sam's mum seeing:
F C
They prayed to an all-knowing super-being.
F Cdim7
To the omnipresent master of the universe,
G Fdim7
And he liked the sound of their muttered verse.
Am G
So for a bit of a change from his usual stunt,
F Em
Of being a sexist, racist, murderous cunt,
F Em
He popped down to Dandenong and just like that,
F Cdim7
Used his powers to heal the cataracts,
G G#
Of Sam's mum.
A
Of Sam's mum.
-KEY CHANGE-
D A
Thank you God, for fixing the cataracts of Sam's mum.
I didn't realise that it was such a simple thing.
D
I feel such a ding-a-ling, what an ignorant scum.
G
Now I understand how prayer can work,
D
A particular prayer in a particular church,
G
In a particular style, with the particular stuff,
D
And for particular problems that aren't particularly tough,
G
And for particular people, preferably white,
D
And for particular senses, preferably sight,
G
A particular prayer in a particular spot,
Fdim7
To a particular version of a particular god.
A
And if you get that right, he just might,
G
Take a break from giving babies malaria,
D
And pop down to your local area,
E A D
To fix the cataracts of your mum.
A D
Hallelujah!
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