I'd Have Been Out of Jail By Now ukulele

I'd Have Been Out of Jail By Now

• D

INTRO: D 

D                            G         A             D 
I sat at a bar having a beer trying to hold down the stew 
                                                      G            A            D 
When a stranger walked in, stood there beside me, and plopped down there like a fool 
                                                  G                A            D 
He started drinkin' then he started talkin' 'bout things that were wrong in his life 
G                          D                    A                            D 
The more that I heard, the more I believed, the thing that was wrong was his wife 

            D                                            G          A         D 
He said you talk about beauty, when we first met she was all that a man could desire 
                                                   G      A        D 
Talk about love, one night with her would set your very soul afire 
                                                 G       A        D 
But love's little flame is out of control, 'bout 3 feet high from behind 
G                             D                    A                           D 
Since we've been married I've come to believe that love is of the dumb and the blind, no offense 

    D                                   G             A         D 
You talk about ugly, when she gets mad, she goes from Jekyll to Hyde 
                              G               A                  D 
She grits her teeth, then her eyes roll back, pivot from side to side 
                                                      G           A            D 
She completely rewrites the whole English language, 4-letter, descriptive and loud 
    G                                 D                      A                          D 
Now I can't out-think her, but I can sure out-drink her, and that's what I'm doin' here now 

            G                      D 
'Cause I've spent 7 years with the wrong woman 
G                         D 
Seven and goin' on eight 
    G             D 
She spent 7 years naggin' and eatin' 
                               A 
I'm over-wrought and she's overweight 

   G                 D 
If I try leavin' she has me arrested 
             G                      D 
Takes her own sweet time gettin' me out 
                    G                   D 
If she ain't number 1, she's in the top 2 
                A           D 
Of the things I could live without 

G                     D 
Men commit murder and all kinds of mayhem 
     G                             D 
In a few years they're back on the street 
G                   D 
Highway robbery and white collar crime 
                                  A 
And they laugh at the system they reap 

    G                      D 
Sometimes I'm tempted, sometimes I'm ashamed 
       G                    D 
Of the things the law will allow 
G                   D 
I coulda killed her when I first met her 
          A                   D 
And I'd a been out of jail by now  

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